Brettuns Village Trunks & Leather

Old Trunks, New Leather.  All from Maine.

We sell leather for making footballs and baseballs, and great suede for dance shoe soles

November 7, 2006

OK, football fans, we’re
into the waning days of football season (I think), and by now you’re starting
to wonder if your team will be in the playoffs, or, then again, maybe the
playoffs have already started.  I’m not sure.  Will the Rams
beat the Colts?  Is there a team in Indianapolis anymore?  I
know Miami still has the Dolphins, and I know New England still has the
Patriots, even though they should call them the Boston Patriots, but, ever
mindful of additional cash in wallets outside of the Boston city limits,
they slather the team with a multi-state allegiance.  Here in Maine
we’re supposed to go weak in the knees over this team, even though if you
drive 495 around Boston, grab the Mass Pike with your eyes shut because
those people drive like bumper car maniacs, and shoot through CT into New
York, you can choose from a mess of football teams down there, something
like five or six of them in one state alone, and a few more that spilled
over into PA because they couldn’t find a parking lot to hold their fans
plus New Jersey kicked them out in favor of pharmaceutical factories, which
I think had something to do with the well-known fact that football stadiums
or stadia don’t generate enough pollution for Jersey so get the heck out
of there.  At any rate, there are a lot of teams down that way, like
connect the dots, and a lot of you live in that area or other football-prone
zones of the USA and Canada (I think Johnny Musso still plays up around
the Arctic Circle someplace), and you’re gearing up for some serious football
action.  Whatever that means.

I don’t buy into the whole
‘fat slob on the couch surrounded by fatty foods’ stereotype that we see
on sitcoms and in comic strips.  I’m willing to agree that some team
jerseys are worn, and yes, some quantity of beer may be involved at times,
but – and you football fans out there will agree with me here – what’s
really affecting most football fans at this time of year is just flat out
depression; a mind-numbing depression brought on by a feeling of inadequacy,
especially accentuated if ‘the guys’ come over to watch the game with you,
all because, as you look around your den, living room, basement, rumpus
room, or other chosen viewing chamber, you realize that you’ve completely
forgotten to decorate your football room with anything that looks like
a football.  Like so many times before, Brettuns Village is here for
you, Jocko.

We’ve got a lot of football
leather in stock.  Cowhide sides, imprinted with the old pigskin texture,
and in the same color as an NFL football.  In fact, this leather was
tanned specifically to be made into footballs, but it was left over. 
These sides never got called up.  Sat on the bench.  Pitiful. 
Nothing wrong with them, the texture, temper, color, finish, etc is all
fine, they just didn’t get that call.  I’ve marked them down to $40
per side (18-20 sq ft) and that includes shipping to your door if you’re
in the 48 contigugridironous states.  Look, Coach Landry, UPS runs
about $11 to get one of these sides from us to you, so this very expensive
leather is no longer so expensive.  It’s firm temper, but what I think
you need to do is cover the walls with it, cover the bar, the barstools,
make some pants (you won’t be able to bend your knees but just stand up
and enjoy the game – you’re that much closer to high fives that way). Toss
one over the couch.  For forty bucks just look at it.  These
are on the Sides page, which used to live down the road from the Tools
page, right about here:

That’s our big November Sale. 
Big deal.  Continuing with the football theme:

Remember when Mr. Magoo would
go to a Rutgers game?  What did he wear?  Always the same thing,
right?  He had the Rutgers penant in one hand, and that hat that was
turned up in the front like Agarn on F Troop, and, he wore – come on –
what was it?  A raccoon coat.  Big and furry.  if you check
our ‘Hair-on Hides and Furs’ page on the site you’ll note that we have
some new additions on there, including fur coat collars.  It’s a start,
Mr. Maglooo, as Charlie would say.  Also some nutria furs.  Nutria
– ever hear of them?  Call your cousins in Houma, LA; they’ll explain
it to you.  We’ve also added mink tails to that page, just in case
you stepped on the tail of your pet mink and, well, you get the idea. 
The hairy page is here:

Get your deer yet?

Churchill Barton, ESPN Consultant

Brettuns Village Leather

Auburn, Maine